Some days come to us in shades of grey. As days go by there’s a feeling that people are constantly paranoid the more life progresses. Haphazardly excusing themselves and apologizing for the sake of what passes as decency and understanding, entirely afraid to have a feeling or opinion. I wish people would look up, speak up, open up.
The people we find in real life seem so locked out, imprisoned really. I find myself drawn to being apathetic, yet curious. That could be the issue: Maybe I don’t care, but I want to know. Does the intention lack the integrity, regardless of the end? It’s a weird question, but I digress.
Maybe the skills we’ve acquired are structured towards self preservation, rather than companionship. We struggle to open up to anyone, but we’ll reach out for directions if we’re lost. I can’t really articulate my emotion most of the time; I wasn’t taught that. It’s unhealthy, it’s risky. You can’t possibly trust it.
That’s what we’re told, we’re never told that being truly open brings freedom, and maybe that’s how we find a little light version of life. I think people get tired of feeling so ragged from existence. Maybe we need some form of emotional hygiene, risk it all and get out of your weight courtesy. Sometimes we should scream without reason or any intelligible words. We can barely tell anyone anything genuine, so why not show them? Maybe it’s not so bad to live free instead of just being born free to just live in chains.
I can’t tell you how I feel, I wasn’t taught how. Maybe we should look a little deeper, take our time and find the words to teach ourselves. Maybe that’s how I feel, maybe I should care and maybe it’s okay.
Unfaithfully yours, Peanut…